Looking Ahead

Well there is only around two weeks left in my trip here. A little bit less than two weeks actually. Knowing that there is only that much time left my mind has begun to wander to the future and how things are going to be when I get back. In this blog post I'm going to have two sections, one section on the future and how I'm doing. The other section will be an update on the condition of my heart and what God has been doing in me.

The Future

Going back home is an extremely scary thought to me. I will arrive back home on the 13th, God willing, and then will leave for college on the 17th. This leaves me only the 15th and 16th as days to prepare myself for leaving. That means sending out thank you letters, finishing up administration stuff with school, and also just getting reaclimated with American culture. It's not going to be easy and a lot of things are already stressing me out. Finances is the number 1 issue. I have so many things that I feel called to do. I feel called to return here or to another spanish speaking country next summer, there are also another couple of trips that are completely up in the air that I would really like to go on. Also I'm taking a student loan. So many of these things don't seem possible to me. It's so hard to remember that God will provide sometimes. This stuff seems so impossible because I'm trying to do it all by myself. I really have to work on becoming more and more dependent on God but it's extremely difficult. I also have to find a Job up in Greeley in just 4 days after arriving. There's just so much on my plate and it's starting to get to me. I ask for your prayers in giving me a sense of peace and calm, at least while still in Guatemala.

The Condition of My Heart

It's amazing seeing the ways that God has been working in me on this trip. One of my prayers from the very beginning of this trip was for God to begin to destroy my pride. I've already seen Him working but it's still a work in progress. I'm striving to live in a way where I am completely dependent on God. I may seem weak to the world but at my weakest, I am strongest with the Lord. Another thing that I just really realized is how dependent I've become on reading the Word and on journaling. The past week I forgot my bible and my journal at my host families house and wasn't able to get them until yesterday. The whole week I felt slightly disconnected from God. I think in general that it's good that I've become so dependent on reading Gods word. The Bible is the way God speaks with us, and I think I'm really starting to understand that in all it's meaning. It's been proven many times in my journal that God is there when I need him. I have opened up to many "random" passages that address exactly what I'm dealing with. That's not chance that's God speaking. My dependency on reading the Word is showing me how much my heart and soul is beginning to yearn to know more an more about our Lord and Savior. It really is amazing to see all the things that God is doing.

I hope that all is going well back in the States!

P.s. Excuse all the typos, I'm using an iPod. =)
God Bless!